I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so 
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have 
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. 

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into 
bed. 

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel 
like it, I just want you to hold me.” 

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!” 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… 
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me 
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look 
by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in 
the bedroom?” 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with 
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big 
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on 
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to 
take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to 
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We 
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond 
earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was 
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because 
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play 
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” 
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. 
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all 
dear, let’s go to the cashier.” 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel 
like it.” 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled 
WHAT?” 

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re 
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy 
your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she 
was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and 
not for the things I buy you?” 

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.